My husband, by the way….that is probably the coolest word to say after you get married. & hearing him say “My wife” for the first time will stop you dead in your tracks.
But the wedding to me wasn’t the best day of my life. I would consider our wedding day… a “beautiful disaster.” You see….The best days of my life with my husband are the days we spontaneously spend walking all over downtown Chicago. The ones where we decide showering is last on our list & losing ourself in episode after episode of our show, all while filling our bellies with an ungodly amount of junk food…..rank first – ALWAYS! Because that’s who we are. The wedding was great. But that simple day didn’t define us. The funny part is that day pretty much defined our year prior. They say your first year of marriage is the hardest. I’m calling BS. For us, our hardest year was the year before we said “I do.”
✨✨✨ Check out my YouTube clip where I talk about my wedding. & share a video of us me re-living that day on camera! Click the link below!!!!!!!! ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️✨✨✨
(I legit had 10 mins to films this video, so when I say my favorite part was the reception I meant ceremony. & when I talk about my dad & uncle fighting, it was withsecurity because they were absolutely HORRIBLE to my guests!!!!!!) way more to come about all of this very soon.
The year before we got married…. felt like it rained everyday in our house. Our highs were still good, & there… but our LOWS…. couldn’t stop coming!!! In my heart I truly believe that was God testing Matthew & I. “Are you really ready for better or worse?” “In sickness & in health?” Every test possible was thrown our way that year. That phrase for better or worse, really clicked to me during one of our head to head fights….& we weren’t even married yet. My advice to anyone getting married, don’t change your entire lifestyle all at the same time. Why we thought it was a good idea to up & leave the city, which meant commuting over an hour (each way) to work every day, which also meant spending zero time together, and having the cost of a house being built, along with a wedding…..all at once. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ & that’s to put it lightly. Did I mention, my husband got hurt at work, putting him out for 9 months? When workman’s comp messed up their paper work and he didn’t get paid for 3 of those months? Or how he had to pay my ring off in that same year? Wait let’s add on his apartment rental had a a pipe burst because the tenant turned her heat off in the middle of January!!!! Which caused thousands of dollars of damage. & that’s still not even close to everything. & yes….Alllllll while planning a wedding.
So when the question gets asked…”was your first year the hardest?” – “HELL TO THE NO!”
But what does come to mind in our first year of marriage was “break through.” It’s like something clicked in us FINALLY & we realized what we needed to make us work, make us happy again, & us be us. We needed to ditch our beautifully built townhouse & head right back to where we started everything. The city. This is why I’m a true believer in people doing whatever makes them happy and learnjng the biggest lesson of all…stop caring/worrying what everyone else will think. I wish y’all could have seen or heard some of the people’s reaction when they found out what we had planned for us! 🙈🙊🙈🙊 but you know what’s? IT WAS THE BEST MARRIED DECISION WE HAVE YET TO MAKE!!!!
The first few months of our marriage, I was forever alone. When I look back at that townhouse all I enivision is me sitting on the corner of our couch watching movie after movie waiting for him to come home. I envision me going to bed alone (with the TV on of course, because I was too scared to sleep alone.) I replay all the arguments in my head we had over texts of my husband complaining about sitting in traffic, commuting, missing home, all because I thought “we’re married, time to move to the burbs and settle down!”
If I can give any marriage advice, I would tell couples to follow your own norm, not what the world thinks you should do. The day y’all figure out what that is, what it is you want, what’s best for you guys… you indeed become unstoppable.
Then it happened.
It was moving day and the feeling that over came me as we sat on our couch the first night. Correction as he sat on our couch and I unpacking everything…..was like “this is it, we’re home.” Our townhouse never felt like home. I forever felt I was visiting. A guest in my own home. That’s because I was living a life destined for someone else. The minute we took over our life, things started falling in place. I mean our luck can still be horse $hit at times, but each night I fall asleep thanking him for our life.
So when you ask me about our first year of marriage I say it’s the year we found out what works for us. Life is all about trial and error. My life may seem over the top to some, but I wouldn’t change a thing. For what I love most about my husband and I, most may hate. We are so over the top. We are massive dreamers. When we want something we go get it. & we joke to each other at night about the things people say about us. What they most likely think. But I will take me and him, & this life over anything. For when I think about our first year of marriage… I consider it one of our best thus far. I seen us become one. I seen us find our voice. I seen us turn everything around to make a once “stuck feeling” turn into “we did it!”
So Happy first year of marriage Matthew Charles Reilly. For you have made me the happiest girl in the work.
Here’s my movie love to you.
Sincerely the girl who now has the same initials as her husband,