Opposites attract they say. But how do you handle the difficulties each partner brings to the table? I mean we’re opposite, correct? So naturally there are going to be many things I won’t understand, or like, & vice versa. We are not meant to get along with someone 24/7. I mean isn’t that why we fought so much growing up with our brothers & sisters? It’s not that you don’t love them, or love them any less. It’s just nature for someone to get on your nerves. Again, I bring y’all to the whole philosophy of balance. & when couples can understand it’s NORMAL to fight, & not agree on everything, life becomes muuuuuch easier.
You see my husband is an introvert. I on the other hand…. am not. Consider me an extrovert. This causes some tension in our relationship at times, because not only am I an extrovert I am an overthinker, & an over analyzer. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🙇🏻♀️ Although, I would say my husband has mastered being a very social introvert. See he can speak to anyone, and you’ll never know that he’s feeling out of place. I mean honestly, he’s so intelligent, and well spoken, that sometimes he can take over the room. Although that’s the last thing he wants to do.
✨How I am learning to live & handle living with an introvert, as an extrovert. ✨
You see my husband likes to be home all the time. He’d rather stay in than ever really go out. He also hates going to parties or family events. Not because he doesn’t like the people, but simply because he feels overwhelmed with the amount of people and all the conversations he knows he’s about to take part in. He rather sit at home, on our couch, and not be bothered with the outside world. Now your girl here…. I come from a big family that is extremely close so I find it upsetting that he makes a fuss attending parties together. I can usually tell too when he’s going to start a fuss with me about the party. It’s not that he wants to make me feel bad, or not see our families & friends, it’s just he simply doesn’t want to leave our house, and handle everyone. If you’re an introvert I’m sure you can relate. I also totally believe he’s just lazy…. but ya know. 🤷🏻♀️ I have learned (almost) how to handle those types of situations.
I realized it’s best to give him time to take it all in rather than surprise him with “get dressed we are going to a party in 2 hours!” So days ahead of any party. I ask his thoughts on attending, let him know who will be there, where it’s at, and how long we’ll stay. For us, this seems to really work because he knows what he’s walking into. Who he’s dealing with, and how long it will last. Now this isn’t for every single situation or party. But most definitely the ones where he’s been working like crazy and just not feeling himself.
Before I throughly understood my husband was an introvert, & what that entailed for us….we’d fight like crazy. Because me being an extrovert, an overthinker, & major over analyzer I assumed he was just being “weird.” “Oh he must be up to something.” “He doesn’t like me!” There are still days when I can’t stop asking him “what’s wrong with you?” And he will reply “nothing, why?” And I respond with “are you sure? You’re so quiet.” Also note to yourself, there’s no question that probably annoys an introvert more. Harassing them for being quiet and automatically assuming that means they’re in a bad mood, or something is bothering them. When they are simply very content sitting there, not speaking.
Most days I act like a seven year old girl jacked up on candy. “I’m Boooooooored!!” “Let’s do something!!!” “How are you not bored just sitting there on your phone?” 🙎🏻 I’ve come to learn introverts don’t get bored easily. My husband can find pure enjoyment sitting on his phone reading article after article, & watching all types of video clips. I’m also learning to stop teasing him for being boring, and telling him….you never want to do anything!!!! Yes, that will also make you fight, and ultimately make your introvert partner feel they aren’t good enough for you. Which never is my intention, but being an extrovert I crave fun, adventure, L.I.F.E. 🙌🏼✨🙌🏼✨ and it took me until recently to realize it’s not fair to assume he wants the same thing at all times.
My husband the introvert he is, doesn’t feel the need to share his life on social media at all. He’s not one to brag, infact most people probably have zero idea of any of his achievements….unless I was the one who shared about it. I also use to yell at him all the time for never introducing me. Now I understand, but back then I would argue “I introduce to to everyone, why aren’t you doing the same?!?!?” Legit, my friend use to tease me back in the day “hey this is my boyfriend Matt, Matt, this is so & so.” Because right away I was in your face with that. Not to mention I use to get sooo upset back in the day asking him “why don’t you ever post about me on social media? I post about you constantly and it makes me look like the stalker girlfriend.” He would laugh and just say “it’s not for me, I don’t like sharing anything about my life on social media.” Learning that’s how he is, and to not take it as he’s “hiding me”……. waaaay less petty fights. Way less. 🙆🏻
You see I’ve learned with him being a social introvert that he rather just hang with me than a larger group. Don’t surprise him with parties. Stop asking him what’s wrong on a daily basis when he’s simply not in the mood to talk. & that sometimes he just needs to sit in a room alone, unbothered from the rest of the world to find inner peace.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with which ever you are. But learning to understand people and why they react different in certain situations, helps settle so many unneeded fights.
You see none of us are born the same, and you’ll see opposites really can attract. But fully “getting” someone allows for you to stop judging, stop assuming, & stop harassing. Let people be who they are & learn how to cope with difference.
Sincerely the wife whose husband told her he wanted zero part of this,