**Photo cred Pinterest
I had a few people reach out to me asking where I get my confidence from and how I handle my low days?
Well my friends, this post is FOR YOU! & please keep the questions coming. I love them.
As I read those questions I was in awe people thought I was worthy enough to give them advice. & then I was really blown away by the fact that people are taking notice of how I am on social media, and realizing that’s who I am in real life! THANK YOU. What you see on social media, or read about me on my blog is 100% who I am, day in & day out. I am not one of those posers who wants to come off ultra cool & hip on social media to impress people. This is me all the time. So if you’re feeling “blah” lately or maybe just want to learn to own your confidence. Keep reading, I got you.
I think most importantly y’all must know. I do get down on myself. A lot actually. I am my biggest critic because I expect perfection. So it most definitely is not always rainbows and sunshine over here. But I must admit I truly am a happy, positive, person who tries her best to not let the world beat me down. I am a true believer that your state of energy shall we say, will be what consumes you. Are you naturally full of optimism or do you complain and put everything down? Your attitude makes or breaks your point of view on everything. Have you ever been around someone and all. They. Do. Is. Complain? It’s draining isn’t it? You basically want to scream “OH SHUT UP ALREADY!” Don’t be a negative Nancy. That literally helps no one out. So firstly, start off by looking at the bright side of stuff. CHOOSE to wake up and be happy, and not let little things succumb you. Everything in this life is a choice. Take control of your emotions and life decisions. That way you can pretty much control the outcome.
I would say the tone of my past few blog posts prior to my last two, where a little on the “whinny-depressing side” I can own that, because they were. I was unsure of everything, and didn’t feel my natural self at all. It took me nine months to realize I was living the life of someone else. Not my own. The minute I figured out I NEEDED to be back in the city, all my old wants and dreams came back to life. So I can’t say that enough!!! Figure out why you’re in a rut. It may not totally be obvious, I mean it took me nine months. Babies are made in nine months, so don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t happen over night. It took me “signs” to realize why I was feeling some type of way. Y’all know that commercial where the wife is looking out the window wanting new furniture but is waiting for a sign to appear in front of her to let her know “okay you can go buy furniture, there’s a need for it now” and her husband sits on the couch and it does nothing but squeak and he can’t get comfortable, and she’s steady looking out the window, and the narrator goes “a sign, any sign….?” That’s exactly how I felt last year. Signs where everywhere but I felt I held back in fear that people where going to be mad at me and-or judge me. So if you don’t take much from me, take this. DON’T EVER LIVE YOUR LIFE IN FEAR OF WHAT SOMEONE ELSE MIIGHT SAY OR THINK!!!!!!!! The minute I gave that up, and took control of what I really wanted, I took control back of my happiness. So figure out why you’re feeling this blahness lately. Is it where you are living or not living? Is it your job and the atmosphere there? Is it the relationship you’re in? Whatever is it, it’s not worth you mental state of mind. Tell whatever that is to “ride out” because you don’t have time to be depressing Debbie.
Find a passion, a hobby, and new group of friends. What you surround yourself with will consume you. Consume yourself with nothing but goals, dreams, fun, and people who are on the same page as you. When you put your focus into something, you are too busy discovering things about yourself that you may have never known that you will be too “get on my level son” to allow any type of other feelings in. Staying motivated is key. You’ll feel rewarded and unstoppable. And that crushes any depressing feelings you’ll have.
The most important factor into owning confidence and pulling yourself out of a rut is….Loving yourself. And I truly mean that. You need to think you’re the coolest, funniest, most beautiful thing since, ever. Now there’s a fine line between cocky & confident, so as Dane Cook says “choose wisely.” If you have not already, you must watch the movie “How to be single” I watched that and ugly girl cried to myself a lot. We have this habit where we feel the need to always be with someone and give up our own wants because of what that person might say. I get it, I am a relationship girl, but we need to know it’s so cool being single and 100% owning it. Allow yourself to do what you really want to do in life. There is nothing wrong with you because you are single. Quite frankly there’s something wrong with Tom, Dick, & Harry for not taking note yet!!!! Be a bad B*#ch and own your confidence, because you are a Boss Babe!
Being confident is fun. Give it a shot. Doing one thing a day that makes you uncomfortable, does nothing but help you grow and become stronger. Here’s an example of me owning my confidence lately. I am about 5’7 1/2 so naturally I am on the taller side. Well for the longest time I have been wanting to wear heels but always feel like Chubacca walking into places. And my husband said “would you stop that and wear heels already. I don’t think you’re that tall in them!” & now I literally want to wear them all the time. Yes I was uncomfortable at first. But the girl at Akira told me “Hunny models are tall, rock those heels” and I was like “well thank you boo” and walked out with my first heels in probably two years. Now when I walk into a room I walk into it with confidence in my heels, maybe not fully strutting my stuff yet, because man that takes talent & time, but hey fake it till you make it. But I learned to be like….I am sorry if you feel incompetent with me standing next to you, my parents blessed me with the height gene and that’s, that. Comments about my height don’t bother me now. “Oh wow you’re tall?” “Oh wow you’re ugly?” No I am kidding….. 😉 just don’t be afraid to own it. It may take baby steps and some encouragement, but do it. And feel liberated.
I hope this helps. Literally attitude is everything. Dress your best too. Because when you feel good you will ooze confidence and it will make a difference in how you feel. Get a hobby, find a passion, maybe make new friends. Live for yourself only, and do nothing but learn to love yourself.
And if you’re feeling “ugh” because maybe you’re dying to find someone to share your life with, stay tuned, I’m blogging about that next! 😘
Sincerely the girl who’s stomach is growling and neeeeeeds to make dinner,