You are worth it. 

*** Photo Cred Pinterest 

That quote hit home after reading it. I feel for life in general that quote can be used for so many forms. As for me, I’ll explain. Like I stated in my previous blog posts the year I turned 25 everything changed. & now the fresh 26 year old I am….My mind has continued to change me. But in a new/old way. As stated before I feel I understand the whole mid life crisis ordeal. What I am going through some may call that, but I see it as something different. I’m going to call it the years I figured out who I am. See this world especially now has a great way of showing us all types of people, their lives, their homes, their vacations, basically everything about them… (At least what they want us to see!)  Well as much as I love Instagram…there is harm in knowing everything about everyone all the time. Comparing and questioning your own life will come into play a lot. Well at least for me it has.

So I’m here to write to you that YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH, & YOU ARE CAPABLE OF WHATEVER YOU PUT YOUR MIND TOO! 

I feel writing things down into my blog has opened me up in a way I never knew existed. Sometimes when I’m writing to (whoever actually reads this) I’m also convincing myself with the very words I type. Like, “Dammit Megan! You are awesome, you are a prize, stop questioning your own worth.” I tend to do that a lot. Gasp! What? She does? Hand high, I am human. I will sit on Instagram and see all these gorgeous women, most I have never seen in real life, nor will. All these very talented beautiful make up artist, and work out girls, and here I am today;; barely made in to Mariano’s because I didn’t feel like moving off my couch. I did though, hive five for that. Baby steps. But, I’ll see these other women and start to question my own beauty. Like oh, I don’t look like that….whoa my body definitely doesn’t look like that in my Calvin Klein sports bra, & undies. And I’ll start to really get down on myself. I realized this recently on my very own when I was out at a store with my Mamma, and all these people kept looking at me, I couldn’t understand why… and then I looked in the mirror and was like “oh look at my messy bun, it’s all over the place, that’s why people keep starring!!” & my mom in the most sincere way said “Meggie they are starring at you because you are beautiful, not because of your hair.” & then she laughed to herself and headed down another aisle. I stood there & almost cried like have I lost that much self confidence in myself that I don’t think I’m beautiful? I also don’t mean that to come off as “omg I’m so beautiful look at me” how I mean it is, it hit me that all us women do is constantly compare and judge how much of our worth is by what other people think of us. I’m also only speaking for the women who understand what I am saying. Not every woman feels this way. (Let that be noted) So in essence I am learning to basically “f*^% everyone’s opinion but my own!” If you haven’t already, watch the movie “How to be Single” it gave me allllll the feels to want to go out and conquer the world on my own. Without anyone’s approval, but my own. 

We should never question our own worth or beauty by comparing it to someone’s else’s. If anything I feel that’s what Social media has done that’s damaging the most. To the girl who wants so badly to be in love and only see that “perfect couple” posting pictures…. or another engagement post being shared. To the girl that so badly wants a family and sees the constant pictures of families being posted, or another pregnancy post. To the girl who so baldy wants a to buy a house and sees photos of only beautiful homes. To the girl who so badly wants and job, or to be promoted and only sees it happening for other people. I could go on and on, but when seeing this stuff constantly being thrown in your face, it will make to second guess something about yourself and why you don’t have that. I believe timing has a major factor to do with our lives. Everyone is on their own timeline. What might be right for you, won’t be the right time for someone else. So stop competing or comparing and  learn to enjoy what you do have. And if you’re not happy, make a change that will. 

That was the most damaging part of my life in 2016. Feeling the need to compete with people I didn’t know, and questioning why isn’t this happening for me. & I just can’t seem to let it go. Let go of the guilt I feel, the embarrassment, the entire year wasted being something I am not. But it didn’t dawn on me until I was able to pull my own Instagram head out of my a$$…. I was stuck on my own pitty party train. One way ticket to severe disappointment is all you will get if you don’t stop examining someone else’s life and live for yourself. The day I texted my hubby city condo listings on Redfin was the day I freed myself. I got off a dream that wasn’t mine, and headed back into the one I always wanted. In doing so, all my old wants and dreams are starting to appear again. I’m feeling happier and more confident than I have in a long time. If you continue to take the wrong train home, you will never arrive to where you need to be. That’s how life is. Consider it a train. Until you figure out what you truly want, what you truly care about, you will never get it until you hop in the right direction, and stop riding other trains. 

Let go of the stuff you can’t control. Let go of old regrets, and let go of petty bullshit, and work toward making YOUR life everything you want. That’s what I’m doing and can I tell you this smile hasn’t come off my face since the day I realized I am worth it! I am beautiful. I sound like a commercial ad right now, but it’s true. I am going to take life by the horns and own it. We are our own worst enemies, what consumes your brain consumes your feelings. The day I started appreciating that “yes that girl is beautiful, but so am I” for different reasons, I regained my confidence. We need to learn to appreciate what other people have and what we have as well. Life is no fun hating on someone else’s because you don’t have something they do. They didn’t make you feel that way. You ALLOWED yourself to feel that way. Britney Spears said it best “you better work bitch” soooooo that’s what I plan to do. I’m going to work for it. We women are so much more than we give ourselves credit for. Know that. It’s funny as I write this, it’s like writing a little clip in my diary for me to come back and remember. Megan you are worth it, & to remember everything you want for yourself on this very day and to never get side tracked by someone else’s vision. I hope my blog posts motivate people, let people know you’re not alone, and that we are all here together just trying to figure out what’s the right thing for our life. I never  post in thinking I have the answers, but what has helped me through my “funks” so I hope you take my writing as such that. 

From the girl who is breaking out on hives because her dog Bubby needed 6826 kisses, and can’t bare to sit here much longer without a cold towel on her face, have a wonderful Sunday night. 

Xo Meg

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