*** Photo Cred Pinterest
I get how “basic” or “clichey” my title is. Some may eyeroll at that phrase because they are sick of hearing people say that, & nothing changes. Well this girl here….appreciates that saying. I appreciate a new year. I love that we have given each person that. It gives people time to reflect, “start over” a goal…anything. I love it. And my new year new me, will be such that. A new me.
2016 was hard. It seems that is what 90% of people have said about it. While I had some major victories, getting married, buying our first house… I also had some of my most worst times ever. Looking back I don’t think I really liked who I became in 2016. In some ways I truly do. I think this was the year I am learning who I am, what I want, and where I see myself going. But with that came so many trial and errors. That phrase “you know you’re annoying when you can’t stand yourself” guilty. Looking back at how I was during 2016 was such that. How I still have a husband, friends, & a family who loves me is beyond me. Y’all are the real MVP. I mean okay I wasn’t THAT bad. But I was bad. This was the year social media… cough cough Instagram, overcame my life. I started living the dream of many others vs my own. See at the time I totally thought “this is me, this is what I want” and then I seen how unhappy I was becoming and a change in me I didn’t like so I knew… nope this isn’t my calling. This isn’t me.
About a year ago y’all know, & if not, will now know, I became overly obsessed with home decor. Okay if there is a word more than obsessed… that’s what I became. It’s all I wanted to talk about, think about, post about. Looooooooord save me. That’s because socia media has a funny way of showing us all these flashy lifestyles and we become so involved we feel the need to compete with that…to have that. Yikes.
Basically that’s how my brain works. Which I am totally working on. I mean I drove my husband crazy. I look back and am like holy cow I am so sorry for how terribly annoying I was. See we built this beautiful townhouse and because everything on my IG was home decor, and beautiful houses… I needed mine to look like that STAT! Like cmon… I need to post these pictures and have everyone see this. Like ewwwwww I am honestly embarrassed writing that. Hah! I set myself up for unrealistic expectations. I became crazed and in the mix of it all I realized this is not real life. Well for me it wasn’t suppose to be my real life. My house is/was beautiful and I don’t need to go broke in competing with other home decor IG’s. I became super unhappy and had to take a step back and re-evaluate MY life!!!! I learned a good lesson. If you can’t stop second guessing yourself and are forever changing your mind. It’s not meant to be. I know myself better than this…when I want or like something. I go for it then and there. There is no second guessing. I was steady second guessing myself. Social media is a great platform, but it can consume your life and make you unhappy because you are contstanly thrown all this stuff in your face 24/7. Don’t worry y’all. You’re not alone in feeling defeated. But this new me is ready to conquer all those bullsh*% feelings and take on my new path.
That quote I have up top. I finally understand it. I am becoming who I am suppose to be in life, but hell I am fighting for her everyday. Picking and sorting through all my corks to get the right mixture. This new year new me, will be a muuuuuch happier one that doesn’t feel the need to compete with ANYONE! I am only competing with myself. How to become a better me all around. Competing to not become a petty b*#%h over stuff I can’t control. Shut up Megan! & moooove on. I have started my new IG. And can I say already I’m like…. “I’m back bitches!!!!!” I’m an extremely happy go lucky person. I love life, & hell if home decor will be the end of me. Haha
In 2016 I thought I needed to move back “home” to the suburbs. At the end of 2016 I realized I’m a city girl, and may never be a burb chick. So now watch me venture back to my roots in the CITY!!!….that I got rid of when thinking I needed to conform to the house wife, perfect house, have kids track. As for some that’s YOUR life. It’s not mine. I am a city girl who has uncomfortable dreams to obtain. Ones that I always knew I wanted, but got side tracked.
There are a ton of quotes that actually annoy me frankly. All about ones saying make moves quietly and such. Well crap. This girl has a mouth, and I’m super “I love life” so when I get excited… I tend to talk about all the things I want to do and plan. Well, that’s me y’all. Not sure if that will ever change. And that’s what I am over. Apologizing for who I am. & changing for others happiness. & mainly…Listening to everyone but myself. For the past two years, it’s been nothing but me living to make others happy, stressing over stuff, and fighting for what I want, and what others keep telling me to do. I’m done. This girl is ready to just live her own life as imperfect as it may be. I’m back people. Be ready.
Sincerely the girl who’s train ride is about up and know there will be 827362 mistakes in her post because she could not proof read.